By His Grace Alone: How The Lord Called Me To Campus Ministry

When I tell my story to people, I normally share how the Lord called me to campus ministry in Oregon not necessarily how He called me to campus ministry in general. Today someone asked me that and I thought back on those two days that the Lord made it clear that campus ministry was the ministry field He wished to use me in.

Taylor and I meeting for Bible study on BCM's front lawn.

I think it started with Taylor Watson. That's typical, really. A lot of things have started with Taylor Watson for me this past nine months. (For those of you who do not know, Taylor is one of the girls I have had the incredible privilege to disciple this year. She is a new believer and an incredible, passionate, faith-filled woman of God. Every meeting with her challenges me to my core because she asks deep questions of the why behind the why, helping me take things I've believed and known for years and apply them to daily living in a way that helps me to return to my First Love. How thankful I am for her!)

And so Taylor and I were meeting on Tuesday, November 12 and she began asking me about the Christmas story. I soon realized no one had ever told her the full story. And it rocked my world. As the thoughts swirled through my brain and I tried to keep my mind focused so I could tell the story, I thought "she's 18; she grew up in Jasper. This isn't China! Where have the Christians been?"

When Taylor left BCM that day, I sat down and wept.  I was thrilled to have seen the joy and wonder with which she took in the Christmas story and to know that she knew about how Jesus had come to be Emmanuel. But I was also in despair because no one had told her before.

As I sobbed out to Abba my frustrations, I felt an ever-growing passion within me. In response to my grief, God answered, "These are the ones I've called you to, the ones I've given you a crazy love for; you'll do this again, over and over."

I think at that point I didn't really process what He was saying.  The next 24 hours were a blur. Someone close to some of Staff had died; several of the girls I was discipling had major things happen in their families; one of my best friend's grandmother was really sick; we were decorating the BCM House for our Parent's Night at Christmas and if something could go wrong, it had. Spending three hours trying to get a large wreath to hang from the 20 foot beam with braided floral wire was the straw that broke the camel's back. I went to the bathroom and laid flat on the tile. I told the Lord I couldn't take anything else that night. Just as I said that, I heard my name. Someone was calling for me and they brought me a crying Freshman. I remember looking up into Abba's face going, "Lord, we just talked about this. I can't give anymore." But He said, "Listen." So I did. And her story broke me even more. I didn't have the answers, I couldn't fix it all, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't.

But He could.

And so somehow, someway, I spoke words that only the Holy Spirit could've given my weary soul and mouth. They must have been of some comfort for she left with a smile.

I, on the other hand, laid on the floor of my bedroom, crying and questioning every calling to ministry I had ever experienced. And after I got it all out, after I told Him that I didn't know why in the world He chose to use me, after I told Him I didn't know anything about how to be a good campus minister, after I'd just shown that all the knowledge I had was diddly-squat, THEN He spoke again, "These are the ones I've called you to, the ones I've given you a crazy love for. You'll do this again, over and over."

And so here I am.  By His grace alone. Soon, in faith, to be a campus minister at Portland State University.

A campus minister who can't wait to tell the Christmas story!

The Reality of Ministry: Deserts

Sometimes in ministry, we tend to try to beautify everything to make it seem like we, the leaders, have it all together. But allow me to let you in on a little secret. (We don't have it any more together than Joe Smith.)

And so sometimes we go through deserts in our spiritual walk. And oftentimes, those deserts seem to come at the most inopportune times imaginable.

Like right now.

You'd think that since I'm in the middle of support-raising for the ministry God has called me to and preparing to move across the country, readying to serve a week at camp soon, doing a Bible study with my little sisters and two friends, etc. that I would have my head in the clouds and my heart on the mountain tops. But sometimes the Lord doesn't work that way. He gives us dry spells to make us ever-aware of our desperate need for Him. And He waits for us to know ever more deep down in our souls that He is truly the only Water that can satisfy our thirsty, longing hearts.

As a partner with you in the gospel, I never want to become that lofty, "I'm-going-to-act-so-spiritual-so-you-don't-think-"why-are-we-supporting-her?" person. That doesn't give Jesus glory at all and is therefore, ridiculousness! So I'm committing right now to be real.

And right now the real world is this: I'm in a desert. And in a flood. All at once.

(If you're wondering what in the world I'm talking about, you can read my poem explaining here:  Desert Flood)

And yet the flip side of that real world is this: God is in the desert, too. And in the flood. He is the Sand Who exfoliates the dead skin cells of our heart and makes us soft and usable. He is the Living Water Who gives us strength to carry on. He is the Rock amidst the change. He is the Provider of every need. He is the Alpha and Omega. He is Joy. He is Man of Sorrows. He is Ever-Faithful Father. All at once.

Praise Him. Desert or no desert, it is well with my soul!

The Skeptic's Club Encouraged Me In Campus Ministry

"If someone had taken the time Freshman year to explain to me how God could actually be real or answered my questions about science and the Bible in Sunday School, I might still believe. But now? Now I have science; that's all I need."
~Elgin, Atheist from the North GA Skeptic's Club

Few moments have confirmed my call to campus ministry to me more than the moment when Elgin shared the above statement with us in Skeptic's Club a few weeks ago. I first decided to go to Skeptic's Club back in January when the Lord told me I was supposed to go "outside the camp [my comfort zone and Christian bubble], bearing His reproach." (Hebrews 13:13) I went to listen at first, just to give them a section of my day and understand why they believe what they believe. Then the Lord opened doors to share the gospel in crazy ways!

Skeptic's Club discussions

This was the last meeting of the semester and my friend Taylor and I expected there to be a large turn-out for Skeptics, as they were picking their officers for next year. Instead, God had a different plan. Only Elgin showed. So we sat and talked about science and God for the next two hours with this Atheist who had once led worship at his church as a youth but had been disillusioned by his upper-level science classes. All I could think as I sat there was "if someone had taken the time Freshman year...if someone had taken the time Freshman year....if someone had taken the time Freshman year...I might still believe." 

This is who the Lord has called me to go to. Those mold-able college students who have never heard the truth and who need REAL answers.  Those precious Freshman who have grown up in church but are struggling to make sense of how the Truth of the Bible and the World's Philosophy fit together (or don't). Those seeking Sophomores who are beginning to grow cold toward anything religious because no one will take the time to explain or talk to them like they are adults. Those stretched Juniors who are feeling the pressures of upper-level classes, relationships, or family life. Those stressed Seniors who are choosing their life work, who want to do something that matters in this world but aren't really sure if anything truly matters anymore.

These are who God has called me to love. And I'm so very glad!

I never thought when I began going to the N. GA. Skeptics Club that I would one day say I'd miss those rascals. But I do. They have taught me more than they know about how to defend truth and how much I need Jesus! God has used them to break down pride in my life and to show me that I didn't know what I was talking about so He could rebuild me by His Word. They have helped me learn a small piece of what it means to be Jesus' hands and feet. I have loved it!

I recently joined the Facebook page for the Portland State University Skeptics Club. I know what I'm going to be doing with Wednesday afternoons come September! I couldn't be happier!

Pray for:
--those who heard truth in Skeptics club this year, knowing that the Lord's word does not return to Him void.
--those students who will continue to reach out in Skeptic's club next year. Pray that not only would he prepare those who are willing now but also raise up more people to love on them for the kingdom!
--those in the PSU Skeptic's Club whom the Lord will give me opportunity to engage with in a few short months, that He will already begin preparing them to hear and receive the truth.
--me as I prepare to be "ready to give an answer" over the summer. I am currently reading a book called 5 Minute Apologetics for Today and studying the scriptures and science topics found within it so I can be better able to share answers from both a rational and Biblical, informed perspective.