By His Grace Alone: How The Lord Called Me To Campus Ministry

When I tell my story to people, I normally share how the Lord called me to campus ministry in Oregon not necessarily how He called me to campus ministry in general. Today someone asked me that and I thought back on those two days that the Lord made it clear that campus ministry was the ministry field He wished to use me in.

Taylor and I meeting for Bible study on BCM's front lawn.

I think it started with Taylor Watson. That's typical, really. A lot of things have started with Taylor Watson for me this past nine months. (For those of you who do not know, Taylor is one of the girls I have had the incredible privilege to disciple this year. She is a new believer and an incredible, passionate, faith-filled woman of God. Every meeting with her challenges me to my core because she asks deep questions of the why behind the why, helping me take things I've believed and known for years and apply them to daily living in a way that helps me to return to my First Love. How thankful I am for her!)

And so Taylor and I were meeting on Tuesday, November 12 and she began asking me about the Christmas story. I soon realized no one had ever told her the full story. And it rocked my world. As the thoughts swirled through my brain and I tried to keep my mind focused so I could tell the story, I thought "she's 18; she grew up in Jasper. This isn't China! Where have the Christians been?"

When Taylor left BCM that day, I sat down and wept.  I was thrilled to have seen the joy and wonder with which she took in the Christmas story and to know that she knew about how Jesus had come to be Emmanuel. But I was also in despair because no one had told her before.

As I sobbed out to Abba my frustrations, I felt an ever-growing passion within me. In response to my grief, God answered, "These are the ones I've called you to, the ones I've given you a crazy love for; you'll do this again, over and over."

I think at that point I didn't really process what He was saying.  The next 24 hours were a blur. Someone close to some of Staff had died; several of the girls I was discipling had major things happen in their families; one of my best friend's grandmother was really sick; we were decorating the BCM House for our Parent's Night at Christmas and if something could go wrong, it had. Spending three hours trying to get a large wreath to hang from the 20 foot beam with braided floral wire was the straw that broke the camel's back. I went to the bathroom and laid flat on the tile. I told the Lord I couldn't take anything else that night. Just as I said that, I heard my name. Someone was calling for me and they brought me a crying Freshman. I remember looking up into Abba's face going, "Lord, we just talked about this. I can't give anymore." But He said, "Listen." So I did. And her story broke me even more. I didn't have the answers, I couldn't fix it all, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't.

But He could.

And so somehow, someway, I spoke words that only the Holy Spirit could've given my weary soul and mouth. They must have been of some comfort for she left with a smile.

I, on the other hand, laid on the floor of my bedroom, crying and questioning every calling to ministry I had ever experienced. And after I got it all out, after I told Him that I didn't know why in the world He chose to use me, after I told Him I didn't know anything about how to be a good campus minister, after I'd just shown that all the knowledge I had was diddly-squat, THEN He spoke again, "These are the ones I've called you to, the ones I've given you a crazy love for. You'll do this again, over and over."

And so here I am.  By His grace alone. Soon, in faith, to be a campus minister at Portland State University.

A campus minister who can't wait to tell the Christmas story!